Friday, April 14, 2017

On being fat

As we come to the weekend of my favorite candy (how superficial of me, I know), I want to make a comment or so about....being fat.

As of this morning (ok, this afternoon as I didn't get out of bed until 1:05pm), I weighed in at 357 pounds. This is 15 pounds heavier than I was this time last year and more than 40 pounds lighter than my highest ever. The entirety of my weigh gain happened over the fall and winter as I spent time in Chicago and did not keep my exercise regime, nor my overall eating habits.

What are my eating habits?

At home:

Within 1 hr of waking up - Breakfast: 8 oz of rice, corn or oat cereal with 8-9 oz of whole milk and 7 oz of cranberry juice (low sugar)
4-5 hrs after breakfast - Lunch: 3-4 oz of meat, 2-3 oz of cheese, 3-4 oz of veggies
5-6 hrs after lunch - Dinner: 8oz of meat, 4-5 oz of veggies, jello or ice cream for dessert.

I drink 32 to 48 oz of lightly flavored water a day.

For snacks I have two different types of protein bar, plus fruit cups (no sugar added) - but I often eat neither if I'm busy

Away from home:
I keep to my basis schedule but tend towards favorites:
lunch = soda and hotdog w/ketchup
dinner = if at a sit-down restaurant, my dinner is usually much like it would be at home. Fast food might be spicy around chicken.

I don't generally have any gluten (wheat) at home: no bread, pies, pasta or wheat cereals. I tend to stay away from soy also.

My A1C in Feb was 5.3. My sugar at testing was 86. My blood pressure at last dr visit (a week ago) was 127/78. This is just a touch high for me, but my resting heart rate was 70 and temp was 96.7. I do not have high cholesterol or triglycerides. Liver, thyroid and kidney functions are all well within norms.

Yesterday I walked over 2.5 miles. I have walked over two miles four times in the last 10 days. I will do so at least twice more in the next week.

Every step I take SUCKS.

I have been working on learning/doing yoga (only twice this week, both times between 10-15 minutes. I haven't been on my bike this year.

Why all this information? I'm fat. I don't expect people to like me, or consider me 'beautiful' because or in spite of being fat. I don't have body issues. (gawd the guy that asked me to turn out the lights because he did almost ended the evening right then and there!) Come on people.

I look at thin people not out of jealousy, or 'self loathing'. I appreciate their appearance without denigrating my own. I am who I am and what other think of me...I. DON'T. CARE. But, I also know that being fat takes more effort by my body. But after almost 20 yrs of being fat, my body is NOT showing signs of that wear and tear on me. My hips and knees are in good health. But I do recognize the effort it takes to move.

My surgeon said that had I weighted the 397 I was 6 months prior to surgery, I would have most likely died on the table. However, given that he only gave me a 50/50 chance of survival and a 10% chance of walking again, I'd say that once again, people look at me and assume I am unhealthy.

Most people are fat because, systemically, they are unhealthy and their body reflects it. I think getting fat does not make us unhealthy, being unhealthy makes us fat. That will be contrary to 'common wisdom/understanding' in the medical community - but consider how much of that has been wrong in the last 50 years.

By all medical understanding currently espoused, I should be hypertensive, have diabetes, and arthritic joints. I think the medical community has cause and effect wrong and therefore are treating the wrong things. I watched a hypertensive diabetic die. That is my take away from it.

Call me fat. I am. Don't call me unhealthy. I am not. But I reject SOUNDLY the idea that people demand to be considered beautiful REGARDLESS of their appearance. If you need that type of affirmation, you are unhealthy in that space between the ears.

I like me and that comes across regardless of how I 'appear' and yes, I do clean up nice.

BTW, had my nails done, cut & color on my hair and am heading for the beach in my swimsuit this weekend. I too will be body watching!